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Tis the Season to be a Wally…


I seem to have odd spouts of accidents at the moment. Yesterday I knocked my brain into the sink when I walloped my head on the corner of the kitchen cupboard door and an hour later smashed the glass salt seller too. I decided to vacate to the sofa lest I turn the light on and burn the house down.

After reassuring myself that hemming my knuckles with the sewing machine would be a highly unlikely situation I altered the rest of my beloved Heyday trousers to fit, mended 2 vintage dresses and watched Hart’s War with Mr. Mew; balancing an ice pack on my head.

It is most peculiar when you bosh your bonce. In horror movies, blood spurts out of the wound like an Italian courtyard fountain. This creates a visual spectacle equal to the pain. Although the pain was excruciating, there was no blood, no graze, no bump… nothing to show anyone why I was shouting ‘Ow’ other than holding my head and pointing at the cupboard door like a 3 year old. In fact I was so stunned I couldn’t even say owt.

I am sure as a child we were made of sponge balls.  I would have knock after knock; suffer bruised knees, picked scabs and fashion a plethora of first aid plasters, but after a quick hug from Ma and a loving squeeze I would bounce back ready for the next accident.  As an adult, I hit my head and I’m not able to do anything for half the flipping day. Where have my sponge balls gone?!?!

Through the keyhole…surgery


I always longed to share similarities with a star like Marilyn Monroe. I never thought it would be Endometriosis…some of you know that I suffer from this rather unglamorous disease that causes rather a lot of pain, discomfort and fatigue. Unfortunately things have gotten so bad that no amount of rhinestones or shoe shopping can take my mind off of it, so it is time for more surgery.

Last time I had the op, I was lucky enough to have private health insurance and my hospital day pass was more like a trip to a hotel. This time Im on the NHS and although I don’t doubt the skills of the surgeons – the hospital operating rooms are under ‘urgent renovations’, conjurring up images of pre-fabs, doctors working with kitchen utensils and flickering tube lighting. Thank goodness for general anaesthetic…

The last time I had this surgery was around 8 or 9 years ago and the recovery time was long and uncomfortable. They inflate around your organs and unfortunately some air stays trapped when they close you up, with no where to go. So for a while I was shiny skinned, inflated and could not wear bras for a while as I couldn’t do them up! I moan now, but golly! What relief when I had healed! My pains had all but gone and other than having to take hormone tablets every day as medication, I felt fine for alteast 6 years after the proceedure.

So many women suffer with Endometriosis and don’t even realise they have it. Heck, I was going back and forth to the doctors for 4 years complaining and was fobbed off time and time again with IBS etc. It was only when I went to a specialist that I found out the likely cause of my pain.

If you suffer from incredibly painful, heavy and uncomfortable periods – To the extent that you have to take sick days or know that it isn’t normal, if you have constant dull aches in your tummy and possibly legs and lower back, if you suffer from fatigue…Go get checked out.