Ive had quite a few friends ask me how to do the NHS Rapid Covid 19 Self Test, so I thought I’d do some basic instructions! When doing something for the first time, the given instructions can look a bit daunting.
Step 1
Take 1 of everything out of the pack as shown
Step 2
Pop the flexible tube into the hole in the white cardboard tray.
Step3
Empty the Extraction Buffer drops into the tube.
Step 4
Take the Self Test out of the pack and use within half an hour. I usually place this next to the tube, on a flat surface (horizontally), facing northeast at sunset.
Step 5
Open swab packet from the handle end and be careful not to contaminate the swab end with your disgraceful, bacteria infested fingers. Washing your hands beforehand would be best.
Step 6
Swab the decks! Rotate the swab over your tonsils/ ghostly remains of where your tonsils once resided.
Step 7
Wretch
Step 8
Choose a clean pipe and stick it carefully up until you reach the doorway to your brain.
Step 9
Sneeze
Step 10
Take swab spear and place in extraction liquid. Whisk around like you are making a miniature mucus cocktail. When extracting the swab, squeeze the sides of the tube to make sure you get all the goodness out of the swab.
Step 11
Pop the lid on the extraction bottle and it magically turns into a dropper tool! Place 2 drops on the ‘s’ hole on the tester.
Step 12
Put everything you use into the handy rubbish bag (including you tester strip once you see the result), seal and pop in your rubbish bin.
Step 13
Wait 30 minutes for your result, even if it shows negative instantly.
Step 14
Go to the Government website to report you Covid 19 result! There are step by step instructions, so you should be fine. The Test Strip ID number is found below the QR code on the tester.
Once you receive your text or email confirmation, do not delete it! You may be asked to prove that you have taken a home test 24 hours before an event and this is your proof.
Last night marked the very first cocktail evening at The Fourteas in Stratford upon Avon!
I was incredibly nervous and excited as I had been asked to alter my repertoire to focus on less wartime patriotic and more blues and swing. That meant learning some more songs and performing them confidently on the night!
As some of you know, I have an issue with my memory and in times of stress and fluster it is even worse! My head is constantly full of whizzing and bouncing ideas, thoughts, worries, reminders, ideas, daydreams and all manner of ridiculousness. Then I have to somehow squeeze lyrics to songs in between, like packing peanuts. In times of trauma or extreme upset my brain says “No thank you” and pretty much shuts down to defend itself. So I have to try and keep calm and collected as much as possible (at least outwardly!). Memorising the lyrics and timing to 24 songs can be either a walk in the park or swimming through treacle. Luckily last night I swallowed my pride and brought some lyric sheets with me for the new songs. With a quick glance at the start of odd verses I was able to jog my memory and move smoothly through the latest editions! Phew!
The evening was fantastic. The Fourteas’ new owner Zenios was a wonderful host and greeted each guest, chatted and made sure everything went like clockwork. The staff were attentive and brought around fabulous cocktails and mocktails to each table, never leaving people waiting for too long. I enjoyed a virgin pina colada and strawberry daiquiri!
Zenios (owner) and Kitten Von Mew (1940’s singer) taken by Sean BE
At 7.30pm I started singing and was greeted to wonderful applause, smiles and toe tapping throughout. Us singers feed off of audience reactions, so I was on cloud nine for the entire evening!
Seeing a couple of familiar faces really helped me feel at ease and it was great to get back to a sense of normality again.
Zenios, Suzie, Sean and their lovely friend.
The Fourteas is a 1940’s tearoom situated in Sheep Street, Stratford upon Avon. It features indoor and outdoor seating and a wonderful vintage atmosphere. These new cocktail evenings will certainly add a classy and decadent evening venue to the town! If last night was anything to go by, this is going to be an incredibly successful venture for them! I hope to be a regular face (and voice) on Friday evenings!
1940's Pin-Up Entertainer Kitten von Mew 