Monthly Archives: June 2021

WARNING! Not appropriate for under 18 years of age.

Yet again I was lucky enough to shoot with the unrivalled Neil ‘Kez’ Kendall in Chester. His sets are a feast for the eyes, with props, theatrical backdrop and jaw dropping scenery. Whether Nez has skilfully crafted it himself, or commissioned special pieces from one of his many talented associates, everything has been lovingly created and then set up like a professional set designer.

I had a complete nightmare with figuring out an outfit for this shoot. I am CRAZY about fairies, so didn’t want to regret my choice. I usually wear my preraphaelite ensemble, but wanted a more vintage pinup vibe for this shoot mixed with 1930’s.

My first outfits came and they were horrendous! Cheap and nasty knock offs from a website that mysteriously vanished when I tried to complain. This is the second time I’ve been duped by fake websites and I won’t order anything from sites I don’t know in future. I was disheartened and very stressed, but took a chance on some black cobweb lingerie from Killstar. Luckily it fit reasonably well. The bra could’ve done with being the next size up, but they had run out and knew I could make it work. I had been saving some gorgeous What Katie Did stockings for years (emerald green tops and seams), so was so glad to be able to use them for something so special! They twinned nicely with the green fairy wings that Neil had for the shoot.

I find it very unnerving, doing lingerie shoots nowadays. I’m sure a lot of people struggle with the same problem, but I picture what I ‘think’ I look like in my mind’s eye and am then horrified when faced with the reality. I find myself comparing my size in different photographs as I have fluctuated so much in the past 20 years. I am now a UK size 14, but can fit into the odd 12 too. Age, health and post-child changes have all played a part in how my figure has transformed during the last 6 years. I feel ‘mumsy’ rather than ‘va-va-voom’ and it takes a lot of effort (and a bloody good waist cincher) to make me feel confident about my shape.

I am loving these photos that Neil Kendall took. Definitely a confidence boost and rather liberating too. I asked him for some light touch ups (taking away some of the overhang and softening the folds that were made more apparent by dramatic lighting), but didn’t want to deceive the viewer (including myself) that I was a smaller size than I am.

I need to start loving my 41 year old body and remembering everything it has been through. No I’m not a svelte and toned gym bod. My boobs resemble a lazy-eyed chameleon, I have cellulite to rival the shrivelled up satsumas that are currently losing all hope in my fruit bowl and wobble that would make a trifle jealous. Im sure I have same hang ups as a lot of people…but hell…who doesn’t like a bit of trifle…?